‘Out of three, how would you rate your level of happiness?’

With one being ‘not very happy’,

two being ‘fairly happy’,

and three being ‘very happy’

How can this be right?

According to management consultant, author and speaker, Marcus Buckingham (who by they way, is fabulous if you ever get a chance to get along to one of his seminars) and the more than one million people who have been asked this question in various studies around the word, over the last 60 years, women are becoming a little less happy than they where in the 1950s. In a surprising contrast,  men have become increasingly happy over the same time period.

How can this be? We women can now vote, work, have children and return to the workforce, and pretty much anything else that we want to do. But it’s not making us any happier. As Marcus says, it’s not that each of us is unhappy, but it is statistically proven that as a gender, women are becoming slightly less happy. Of course there could be a huge number of reasons for this and anyone with a sociology degree is most welcome to start a list of them for me in comments below if they have a spare 5 minutes.

This study that’s taken place in many countries, including Australia determines what’s called our level of ‘subjective wellbeing’, a psychological term that really just means – how happy we believe ourselves to be in general.

How can we become happier?

I’m curious to know what you think would increase your level of subjective wellbeing? You might say more money, more time to do the things you enjoy or a holiday. It’s interesting to see that in results taken from other studies, Marcus noted that for women an increase in free time didn’t actually increase their level of subjective wellbeing. The same study he said also showed that for every hour of additional free time men are given, their subjective wellbeing rose by 8%.

Another point that I must say, kind of shocked me, is that having children doesn’t actually increase happiness. Please don’t shoot the messenger, but apparently all you mothers out there would probably rate your happiness below women without children, like moi! Now I know you’re thinking “but, but, I love my children, they do make me happy” – that may be so, but statistically, us birds without chicks are chirping a little louder and brighter than y’all. Don’t worry, apparently your lives have more ‘meaning and purpose’ than ours – so it all works out in the end for everyone! (You girls know I’m just kidding around, right? I see no need to make a distinction between women with and women without children – just the same as I don’t make any distinction between what men and women are capable of in all areas of life.)

So, where do you find your ‘strongest life’?

If as a gender we are becoming slightly less happy then it’s incredibly important that we take control of the situation now, before it gets any worse. We owe it to our daughters, our sons, our sisters and brothers, friends and lovers and most importantly to ourselves to take back our happiness by living a life that has the capacity to create more and more happiness.

We certainly can’t create happiness by bitching about a job we can’t stand, or picking ourselves to pieces day in day out or by watching ‘The Secret’ every week in the hope that we’ll magically become ‘superwoman’ just by focusing on what we want – way off in the distance.

Take Marcus’s short Strong Life Test

http://www.stronglifetest.com/

(takes 5 minutes at the most) to help identify the role to most invigorate you.

It’s no surprise to me that I was primarily a Teacher with the secondary strength of being a Creator

What’s yours?

It’s not about goals way off in the future

I agree with author and speaker Marcus Buckingham when he says that ‘life is about following the moments that invigorate you’, he talks about the notion of to ‘catch and cradle’ those moments that invigorate you. That’s a great term, to ‘catch and cradle’. To catch something you have to be aware of it, you have to be on the look out for it. My best moments have always been when I’m sharing new information and I see a light go on inside someone and they ‘get it’. To cradle these moments to me means to make sure I have more moments like that. I nurture the opportunities I have to share new information and keep my attention focused on finding new opportunities to share what I learn. Like here on Gorgeous Things.

Nurture what makes you feel invigorated

The idea of cradling also says to me (and I’m not sure if this is how Marcus means it) that you don’t need to hold on too tightly to these moments to get the best out of them. If you hold on too tightly you’re almost saying that you don’t believe this opportunity or moment will come along again. After all, a moment is just a moment, right? No need to grab it by the feet and shake it until every drop of moment-y goodness is gone. They’ll be another one soon – because you’ll create it by being aware of what makes you feel invigorated.

Where you can find more information about living your strongest life – the life you were meant to live

Marcus told a couple of inspiring and motivating stories about women who he’s interviewed for his book ‘Find your Strongest Life: What the happiest and most successful women do differently’ and to be honest, I could never do them justice in a paragraph here so I’m going to suggest that you read Marcus’s latest book and find your strongest life and take the first steps towards starting to live it. As I said earlier, we owe it to ourselves and if that doesn’t motivate you, then think of your daughters and the further decline in happiness that their generation will face if we don’t teach them by our own example.

Take a closer look at Marcus’s books on Amazon

Reviewed by Gabrielle Sutton

When someone experiences a particular difficult event in their life whether it be a death, divorce or other major life changing experience, advice is usually given to take ‘one day at a time’. What if you knew what tomorrow held? Could you change it? Would you want to change it? And what would be the consequences of changing the future?

Cecelia Ahern’s latest book, The Book of Tomorrow’, tells the tale of a young lady, Tamara, whose whole life is sent into upheaval by a death. The events that follow are outside her control, and she has no one to confide in or support her. The book is set in Ireland (Ahern is Irish). Following the death, Tamara and her mother must move from their home in the exclusive Dublin beachside suburb, Killiney, to live with family outside a remote rural town in southern Ireland.

We all live in our own reality. Cecelia Ahern’s The Book of Tomorrow’explores what happens when we step outside that reality. When we start to realise that our behaviours, expectations and relationships are formed by the very limited environment in which we live. Tamara’s new life and new friends are a far cry from those of her old life.

Cecelia Ahern, like other contemporary Irish authors like Maeve Binchey and Monica McInerney, has the ability to bring to life the unique Irish spirit and humour and rich country side, transporting the reader to Ireland. I thoroughly enjoyed the book.

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Some of the most notable in my opinion are, starting with the obvious,

1. High Fidelity – Nick Hornby book becomes John Cusack & Jack Black film. Smart and funny with the more than occasional cringe-worthily accurate insight into relationships
2. PS – I Love You – this one gets a mention because I’ve never cried so much in the first 20 minutes of a film before
3. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil – nice directing by Clint Eastwood
4. The Talented Mister Ripley – but forget all the other Ripley films, this is the best one
5. Apollo 13 – weren’t you totally on the end of your seat for the re-entry? Great film!
6. Bonfire of the Vanities – Bruce Willis as he should be, more Moonlighting than Die Hard
7. Bridget Jones Diary – where would we be without the fabulous Miss Jones?
8. Brewster’s Millions – I really hope this Richard Pryor & John Candy classic has been put onto DVD, it’s a cracker!
9. Cape Fear – Nicole Kidman, actually acting – really!
10. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory – either version rocks…ompa loompa doompity doo…
11. The Cider House Rules – John Irving has got to be one of the best writers of the 20th Century
12. Ghost World – originally a comic book, social misfits aplenty in this sometimes uncomfortable coming of age drama
13. Get Shorty – Elmore Leonard writes a great mob story, brilliant cast including John Travolta
14. Girl, Interrupted – Angelina gets a well deserved Oscar
15. Get Carter – watch either the Michael Caine or Sylvester Stallone version, they’re both cool
16. Mansfield Park – and any other Jane Austen book that’s been made into a mini-series or film
17. Brideshead Revisited – see the mini-series rather than the film, it’s too bigger story for 120 mins
18. Mystic River – Sean Penn, Tim Robbins – do you need any further encouragement?
19. Fight Club – it’s not for everyone, but it’s a truly intriguing film
20. Matilda - a great laugh on a rainy Sunday afternoon with the kids
21. Once were Warriors – a big dose of reality, not for the feint-hearted
22. The Outsiders – you no doubt read it at school, maybe get Footloose out too for a retro night
23. Requiem for a Dream – warning: perhaps google this one before you commit
24. The Constant Gardener – a challenging film about the dubious practices of pharmaceutical companies in Africa, Pierce Brosnan is fabulous in this
25. Trainspotting – a mix of the surreal and down-right confronting, also very entertaining to read with the book written in a Glaswegian accent

There’s hundreds of others I could have listed but these were the ones that came to my mind fairly easily. Feel free to add to the list.

The most disappointing book to movie transition for me was Perfume, the Patrick Suskind novel. My expectations were high as it’s one of my all-time favourite books and consequently, I was left wanting.

What’s your all-time Top 5?

Many years ago, while I was travelling,  I worked in a bookstore in England. Most weeks there would be a question that circulated amongst the staff (mostly PhD students and English Lit Majors) and we’d all have to give our answers – often over a beer in the local pub.

Sometimes it would be a question like ‘name your Top 5 favourite films’ (great debate would follow) or ‘what’s your all-time favourite book – and more importanly – why?’ (more debate) or my favourite which was the amsuing, if not a bit surreal ‘if the only music you could ever listen to was either the entire Phil Collins (not including Genesis) collection or all of Billy Joel’s albums – which would you choose?’ I miss working there sometimes.

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1. Panic, forget your own name and stare at your shoes as your cheeks grow increasing pink?
2. Jump at the chance to pitch your latest business idea…she’ll be clambering to get on board…right?
3. Ask her to help you choose a new lipstick?

Luckily, the day I ran into US-based, Australian lipstick entrepreneur Poppy King, during her recent visit to Sydney, she was kind enough to offer to help me choose a new lipstick. Trying to pitch an idea (if I’d had one) to a woman with a lipbrush in one hand and a daring pink lipstick in the other would be akin to trying to talk to your dentist once they’ve begun work. Best to just keep your thoughts to yourself and let them get on with the job in either situation.

For the record…3 weeks ago I would have never thought a new lipstick could be a life-changing purchase (I now realise so much of our feminity is expressed through our lips), and I wouldn’t have considered myself a pink lipstick kind of girl…a lot can change in a few weeks!

The glamorous Poppy King launched her brand of the same name in 1992 in Australia, 6 months after leaving High School at the tender age of 18. The brand was a runaway success as it seemed there were many women who were also searching for the style of lipsticks Poppy was making. On her Lipstick Queen website, Poppy says “I wanted lipsticks that gave me the look of the 1940’s. Rich, opaque and filled with pigment.” After 12 years of ups and downs, running her business, the challenge of trying something new appealed when she was approached in 2002 by a major US cosmetics company to join them, and set off for New York later that year.

An entrepreneur from the age of 18, King has now written her book ‘Lessons of a Lipstick Queen’ to help show other would-be entrepreneurs how they can achieve their dreams. Of this desire to help others achieve she says,

“over the years so many people have asked me how I managed to start my own lipstick brand at just 18 years of age. I wanted to break the process down in a way that is helpful to others by exploring all I learnt over the 10 years of my first business and how that can help others who have a desire to do something themselves.”

I asked the successful business woman what she thought were the most important attributes for an entrepreneur to possess,

“Vision, Persistence, Humility and Passion. In that order. Firstly you need to see something in your mind eye, you need to be dogmatically persistent in pursuing and have the humility to learn along the way. Finally you must have passion even if it waxes andwanes (which is does) the first 3 can get you through until it floods back in but it must be there.”

The day I bumped into Poppy King, she was surrounded by customers win a Sydney Department Store, who had queued to have their lips ‘read’ by the Queen herself. Later she told me,

“What I have always enjoyed from the moment I started in this business, is meeting the customers. My customer is my mentor. It’s the customer that I learn the most from and always has been.”

This post is an extract from my Pink Magazine Blog on Australian businesswomen.

Kaz is appealing to the women of Australia to fill in a survey on her website www.kazbook.com

“Help me! I need to know how women feel about a range of stuff, from confidence and mental health to shopping addiction and Botox. Anyone can make a request on what they’d like to see in the book,” explains Kaz.

I find it hard to read an article that focuses soooooo much on what’s wrong with the cosmetics industry and the ingredients that can possibly harm us and spends so little time giving positive, “so what the hell can we use” advice.

Sure, we all can do with an education of what’s in our products but I’m a firm believer in spending more time on positive education rather than scaring the pants off people.

You can decide for yourself – read the article from The Times here

Let me know what you think!

This book is a prequel to Rosewater and Soda Bread and is based around three Iranian sisters who have fled Iran and are re-establishing their lives in Ballinacroagh, a small town in Ireland.

The sisters open a café cooking traditional Peruvian dishes and slowly weave their magic with exotic spices and aromas. Each chapter begins with a recipe which relates to the chapter’s storyline.  It is quite similar to Under the Tuscan Sun and Chocolat.

It explores the history of the sisters and how that has impacted on the way they behave as well as dealing with prejudices, egotism, bullying, friendship, survival and small town life.

The book is beautifully written.  Mehran has a way of capturing the essence of each character within the town and looking at their inner feelings and fears and contrasting that with the, often misconceived, public perception of that person.  Mehran has a knack for character development as well as capturing the beauty of the Irish countryside and people.  You will fall in love with some of the towns folk whilst you will loath others.  It is an easy and enjoyable read.

I read the sequel, Rosewater and Soda Bread first but recommend that they be read in order. I loved both books and eagerly await Mehran’s next novel.

Review of Rosewater and Soda Bread by Marsha Mehran